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Make the following exercise

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Sit down in a chair and relax. Close your eyes. Think about your experiences last week. What happened? Who did you spend time with? What did you talk about? How did you feel about yourself? How did you get along with other people?

Did you help to create a positive environment, which encourages yourself and others to develop?

Do this mental experiment for each of the people you have spent time with and with whom you currently live and work: your partner, your children, your parents, your colleagues, your boss. Think about them one at a time and ask yourself the following questions:

  • How many times did I give him/her positive strokes? In what situations? For what? How did I do it? Were they superficial or profound?
  • How many times did I give him/her negative strokes? In what situations? For what? How did I do it? Did he/she maintain their self-esteem and perceive the strokes as a help?
  • What kind of strokes did I give most often last week – positive or negative? Does he or she receive mostly positive strokes from me? Does he or she receive mostly negative strokes from me?
  • Did he/she do something last week, which I didn’t appreciate at all? Did I invest any time in, and show my interest for this person? Do I take his/her efforts for granted? Did I make any attempts to open the door to the other person’s world?

Then ask yourself the following questions about the strokes you received during the past week:

  • How many positive strokes did I receive? From my partner? My children? My staff? My colleagues? My boss? My friends?
  • How many negative strokes did I receive? From my partner? My children? My staff? My colleagues? My boss? My friends?
  • How many times did I make a serious effort without anybody noticing it?
  • How many times did I do something for others, which they took for granted? Who is interested in my world?

How do you feel right now? What do you feel?

  • Do you give enough strokes?
  • Do you receive enough strokes?
  • Are strokes something you need to work with?

If you do, you will feel better about yourself. You will make more friends and have better relations by giving more positive strokes.

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